A Father's Tribute to His Son ~ Billy's BenchesWe lost our 34 year old son Billy to addiction and drug overdose 1 1/2 years ago. Two of his passions were cross country skiing and sailing. Our families pitched in and placed a memorial bench for him at Lapham Peak State Park, his favorite ski trail. The other bench was organized by a friend in our neighborhood. He had lost a brother to HIV in the 80's and his family had a couple memorial benches placed at the lakefront. He felt his parents drew some comfort in those benches and hoped the bench would help us. When I visit these benches, I have different experiences. At the ski trail bench I feel a more "normal" or expected sadness and some peace. I will talk to Billy when I sit there. He started skiing in early grade school and was an accomplished skier. I could not keep up with him the last several years. I would find him waiting for me on one of the benches along the trail and we would chat. I feel a little more at "home" on the ski trail because of all the time spent skiing with him throughout his life.The bench at the lakefront, while appropriate, is more difficult. While he loved to sail, we only got back to it the last 2 years. He was an eager pupil with an appetite to learn. While on a good sail during his last summer season, he asked me if I would teach him to skipper the boat next summer. I was so happy he asked and promised I would. But that was never meant to be. The unfilled promise colors my feelings at that bench. I am grateful the bench is there, but it does force me to face the unfulfilled promises and lost potential of his death. These are tough issues I feel more acutely at the lakefront. If I want to go easier on myself I will drive out to Lapham Peak.Nature is beautiful and so much bigger than us. It transcends time and gives me some measure of peace. The lakefront bench is on the water's edge east of the kite flying area and south of McKinley Marina. The ski trail bench is at Lapham Peak State Park just off of Highway C south of I 94 and Delafield. The bench is at trail junction E6, easily accessible from the first parking lot in the park. To find the lot turn right shortly after entering the park. It is not on the Ice Age Trail. Fall would be a good time to visit with the colors and absence of bugs. These are good places to sit and remember your loved ones. That is what they would want us to do, to remember them. Billy would like that. Billy's Father, Jim LandischPlease join us for Ethan's Virtual Run / Walk Against Addiction on August 22. Join with your family / friends all over the world to pay tribute to the person you've lost to addiction, to the person who is seeking recovery or is in recovery now. Form a team on our teams page and help us save lives. All proceeds go to those seeking recovery from an opiate addiction. Register / donate here: https://runsignup.com/Race/WI/Greenfield/EthansRunAgainstAddictionEnormous gratitude to Jim and all those who talk about their personal journies and loss. Destigmatizing addiction will make it safe for all those who need help to ask for help….#fathersday #addiction #overdose #grief #destigmatizeaddiction #recovery #virtualrun #virtualrunners
We lost our 34 year old son Billy to addiction and drug overdose 1 1/2 years ago. Two of his passions were cross country skiing and sailing. Our families pitched in and placed a memorial bench for him at Lapham Peak State Park, his favorite ski trail. The other bench was organized by a friend in our neighborhood. He had lost a brother to HIV in the 80’s and his family had a couple memorial benches placed at the lakefront. He felt his parents drew some comfort in those benches and hoped the bench would help us.
When I visit these benches, I have different experiences. At the ski trail bench I feel a more “normal” or expected sadness and some peace. I will talk to Billy when I sit there. He started skiing in early grade school and was an accomplished skier. I could not keep up with him the last several years. I would find him waiting for me on one of the benches along the trail and we would chat. I feel a little more at “home” on the ski trail because of all the time spent skiing with him throughout his life.
The bench at the lakefront, while appropriate, is more difficult. While he loved to sail, we only got back to it the last 2 years. He was an eager pupil with an appetite to learn. While on a good sail during his last summer season, he asked me if I would teach him to skipper the boat next summer. I was so happy he asked and promised I would. But that was never meant to be. The unfilled promise colors my feelings at that bench. I am grateful the bench is there, but it does force me to face the unfulfilled promises and lost potential of his death. These are tough issues I feel more acutely at the lakefront. If I want to go easier on myself I will drive out to Lapham Peak.
Nature is beautiful and so much bigger than us. It transcends time and gives me some measure of peace. The lakefront bench is on the water’s edge east of the kite flying area and south of McKinley Marina. The ski trail bench is at Lapham Peak State Park just off of Highway C south of I 94 and Delafield. The bench is at trail junction E6, easily accessible from the first parking lot in the park. To find the lot turn right shortly after entering the park. It is not on the Ice Age Trail. Fall would be a good time to visit with the colors and absence of bugs. These are good places to sit and remember your loved ones. That is what they would want us to do, to remember them. Billy would like that.
